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The weight of silence




An open letter

To you, society, parents, friends, colleagues, loved ones,


The violence endured by so many people goes beyond physical blows, destructive words, or sexual abuse. It often extends, in subtle ways, through the silence of those around us – through your discomfort, your doubts, your questioning of us, the victims, who finally dare to speak up.


“I can’t believe it!” “Maybe you misinterpreted what happened?” “You need to move on and forget!” These words, all too common, are a form of violence in themselves, a violence with a name: secondary victimisation. With these words, you shake our courage and strengthen the power of those who harm us. You add pain upon pain – the pain of the blows, the abuse, the manipulation. You force upon us a terrible question: is it worth it to speak out?


Yes, speaking out is an arduous path. A double penalty. We must not only survive the violence itself but also endure sceptical looks, accusatory questions, a long and gruelling process. So, we don’t know what to do. We hesitate. We wonder if we’ll make it. If it’s worth the fight when even our loved ones seem to doubt us.


Friends, colleagues, parents, brothers, sisters – sometimes, in your desire for comfort, you prefer to deny the truth. Because it’s easier to believe the world is orderly and that people are who they claim to be. That the violence and abuse we tell you about are just exaggerations, misunderstandings, or bad dreams.


But this ease is the burden you place upon victims. Every time you doubt, every time you look away or question our experience, you leave us alone with our suffering.


Society, friends, loved ones, we have a duty to stand by victims – not with questions that cast doubt, but with acts of support. Don’t look away. Listen. Believe. Act. Don’t wait until the suffering becomes too great, until the situation becomes irreversible. Be a voice of courage, not a roadblock. Only by taking a stand can we hope to end violence. It’s time for fear and shame to change sides.

 


Chloé, former victim of sexual violence, creator of the website www.victimepasseule.ch



Illustration maystra | iStockPhoto



SUPPORT VICTIME PAS SEULE !

 

Beneficiary:

Association VPS

1260 Nyon

Alternative Bank Switzerland

CH10 0839 0039 8657 1000 5

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Your donations will help us develop, print/produce, and distribute information and awareness tools for people who have been victims of physical, mental, and sexual violence (and their loved ones) in French-speaking Switzerland. Whether one-time or a regular payment, any amount of support is valuable. A warm thank you!

Example of one-time support: CHF 200.–, 500.–, or 1’000.–

Example of regular support: CHF 20.–, 50.–, or 100.– per month

 

​You can also support VPS by purchasing this beautiful collection of solidarity magnets!

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© 2021-2025

This information platform was created by Chloé, a former victim, with the participation of the Police Cantonale Vaudoise, Me Céline Jarry-Lacombe | lawyer in Vevey, Mr. Pierre Jaquier | LAVI counsellor in Lausanne, Ms. Céline Degonda | psychotherapist in Lausanne, and Ms. Cécile Greset | scientific collaborator and doctoral candidate at the Institute of Gender Studies in Geneva, for the website launch in March 2022.

 

A special thank you to those who shared their invaluable testimony. Would you like to share your story anonymously? You can submit your testimony here!

A warm thank you to survivors and everyone contributing to the success of various VPS projects ♥ Thank you to the professionals who review the content on the platform and tools and who contribute to blog articles. Thank you to everyone who volunteered to translate the online vioence scaler into their language. Lastly, a special thanks to Soroptimist International Nyon-Rolle for their support and collaboration.

ALL REPRODUCTION, EVEN PARTIAL, IS PROHIBITED WITHOUT AUTHORISATION.

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